Paul Chung Observation

During class, one of the clips we saw was the drifting plastic bag. As the main protagonist was speaking, I found myself distancing myself from his voice to that of my own. Observing the plastic bag, I found restlessness. Restlessness in the form of the chaotic dance the plastic bag displayed. He spoke of beauty in the dance, and all I saw was the pattern of chaos. To me, symbolically, the camera-man was the higher power who followed the plastic bag consistently regardless of where it might've drifted off to. It never left the plastic bag out of sight. This in turn made me see that symbolically, that plastic bag was a representation of people's restless state. I say restless because like the plastic bag, we wander about life as if wandering itself is purpose. Wandering isn't a bad thing, I think it's quintessential to wander lost because sometimes we find our purpose. Granted this isn't meant for everyone of course, but those who rarely seek often times find what they weren't intentionally looking for. I digress, but the point is that that bag represents our restless state of our nature. We aren't creatures meant to be tied down. Our innate nature wants to roam free. The bag is restless because it's not content with settling. I mean who really is, except those who already know what they have, and love it. Settling means committing, and every commitment is a scary realization because it's difficult. It's difficult because I don't believe it's in our nature to want to be tied down (granted I understand that's a generalization), however, there are those who are because they choose to. Which I believe is the definitive beginning and end to everything. To be able to choose is to be able to be. Choice dictates our desires, but it is action that puts forth our intentions.

Life begins to darken its gaze when you don't realize what you've become. So I have discovered over the past months. When you learn/ practice your morals, but then basically throw out all the rest out without considering your consequences, you lose sight of what was most important to you. You give up on that which was good for you. So you choose to let a replacement take over, but they're not good enough. You know that, they know it. It's like trying out for the soccer team, except you know that you can't play to save your life, even though you're an adamant soccer fan. Exchanging identities... That's the thought that keeps playing into my mind. I ask myself if I was this previously before, but still adhere to some moral values that are innate to me, but I do other things that contradict that notion, what does that make me? A hypocrite? I would say so to a certain degree, but I'm only being nice to myself in that aspect. Being brutally honest, I get to the point of thinking maybe I wasn't like that at all to begin with. Maybe I was disingenuous to the person that I once was. Who am I now? That's the real question...